Have you ever felt like you and your partner are just getting through the day, side by side, but not really connecting emotionally or physically? This could be a sign of a parallel relationship.
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So, what exactly is a parallel relationship? It’s when a couple focuses more on getting things done—like taking care of the kids, working, or running the house—and less on being emotionally close. According to relationship expert Rachel Marmor, this happens a lot when life gets busy. Over time, partners start living more like roommates, with little intimacy or emotional connection.
How can you tell if you’re in a parallel relationship? Here are a few signs. Most of your conversations are about practical things—like who’s picking up the kids, what’s for dinner, or paying the bills. You might be good at working together, but you’re not really talking about your feelings or spending time connecting emotionally. Over time, this can lead to less physical intimacy too.
This usually happens because of life’s pressures—work, family, and other responsibilities. Kate Engler, a marriage therapist, says that many couples fall into this routine, especially after having kids. The tasks get divided, and while that seems fair, one person—often the woman in mixed-gender marriages—ends up carrying more of the emotional load. This imbalance can make couples feel disconnected.
But don’t worry, there are ways to reconnect! Marmor and Engler agree that making time for each other is key. This doesn’t have to be big. It can be as simple as giving each other a hug, sharing a kind word, or asking how your partner really feels. These small moments can help bring back emotional and physical closeness.
Another important tip is to spend quality time together—just the two of you. This helps you feel more connected, especially if you’re both busy with kids or work.
Engler also points out that happy couples are independent and connected at the same time. This means both people have their own interests and goals, but they still make time to be together emotionally. It’s important to balance your individual life with your relationship so that both partners feel supported and valued.
If you think you’re in a parallel relationship, it’s not too late to reconnect. Relationships are about more than just getting through the day. They’re about growing, supporting each other, and staying close. By making time for small, meaningful moments, you can move from living side by side to feeling truly connected again.
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